A.C. Brooke

“Sometimes I Miss Being Fifteen”

Been enjoying my makeshift summer these past few days since I jumped into my new job before graduation. On Saturday evening though I was sitting on the sand looking at how the sunset made the sky turn purple and it reminded me a lot of the ones I’d seen (and photographed on my phone) as a teenager. More specifically, it reminded me a lot of being 15, and I wrote this quickly on a notebook I had on hand…

“Sometimes I miss being 15. The summer before my sophomore year of high school was like the warm air rising from the blacktop after the rain. I was caught in between who I’d been and who, soon, I’d want to be. I still hadn’t met the idea that nothing mattered and I’d lost enough blood the year before that there was a peace of mind in believing I couldn’t get cut again. How wrong I was. But as I look at the ocean under an evening sky that mirrors the ones I’d met seven years ago, I’m glad it all happened. What a beautiful mosaic my years have been.”

June 24th, 2023

Funnily enough while searching for some 15 year old pics of me from that summer, I realized I really didn’t miss being 15 at all. But even though I’m disappointed in a lot of ways in the person I used to be, I don’t have much but love for that short era of my life. 

Anyways, just some late night, oceanside thoughts. Also, been editing STATS! One of my favorite chapters takes place in Ocean City, NJ, so I posed next to the sea holding my manuscript. Fingers crossed I can wrap this thing up in a few weeks and move onto looking into publishing. We’ll see🤞🏼