So this idea has been in my head for a bit now! Finally went to Goodwill last night and put it into action. Being out of school for six months now, I’ve started to reflect more on the past four years. When I look at the list of things that feel important, I’ll admit that not getting the ‘college experience’ ranks quite low, if at all. As I’ve said before, I was never really a school person and that wasn’t even something I wanted. But there is definitely this feeling of having lost out on some components of such formative years. Between the pandemic and getting PTSD, it’s sort of like, “Man…where did the time go?” In a lot of ways, it kind of feels like college didn’t even happen yet. I find myself comparing myself to my peers and feeling like I need to play catchup.
Even though the pictures convey an internal mindset of believing it’s ‘just you’, I think this is really a rather universal feeling, especially for people in their early 20s. And so that’s what these pictures were really about, not missing out on college but the grieving of lost time in youth, altered trajectories and feelings of alienation and brokenness. The clock that will never tick again. The delicacy of the plate and the disregard of the hammer. The string that was cut short.
This series isn’t just dedicated to the people who forgot trauma and then remembered it at nineteen and then had their life and sense of reality thrown into an existential blender as a result (not at all referring to myself btw). This is for everyone who felt like they missed out on a formative time because they dropped out of school, didn’t go to school, lost a loved one, was dealing with mental illness, was dealing with physical illness, had to work extensively to keep financially afloat, take care of others, experienced an assault…you name it. Sure, what we may compare ourselves and our lives to is just a construct, but it still sucks. So, I just wanted to say “I see you.”
Anyways, Alexa play “Breathe (2 am)” by Anna Nalick!
A.C. Brooke 
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